Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Leaving home (again)

I've just checked in for my flight and I am upset.

This break has meant the world to me. It's been a time of rest and reflection after a stinker of a year (good riddance, 2016!), it's been an opportunity to spend time with family and friends, and it's been a lovely period of being spoilt rotten by my parents. Also, I can't tell you how nice it is to be more relaxed about money -- no more covertly converting currency in my head and chastising myself for contemplating buying things I don't need. Man, is it great to be able to afford to eat out more.

Speaking of which, the food! The food! Chilli pan mee and nasi lemak and pork noodles and roti canai and duck rice and claypot loh shi fun and banana leaf rice and chap fun and Hokkien mee and lin chee kang and various biscuits and kuih and oh my goodness have I put on weight. But it doesn't even matter! Home food is the best food! I'd missed it so much! And I'm going to miss it so much all over again when I leave.

Going back to Launnie signifies the end of my freedom, basically. It's uni and the final exams of my uni degree and freaking job applications and graduation, and then work starts the very next month. I ask myself all the time how I got here so quickly. It seems like just yesterday I was super excited about going to Australia to study.

Suffice to say I am quite dreading going back. I want to stay here. I like having free time, and selecting books to read from our massive collection, and having meals with my family. I like meeting up with friends, catching up with them and hearing about what had been happening while I was away. I like wandering around KL, appreciating both the old, weathered shoplots as well as the towering skyscrapers. I like being able to converse freely with people in Manglish or Malay, or even my woefully clumsy Mandarin. I like it here. This is my home.

But of course, nothing is permanent. The bliss of the holidays must end. Soon, I will be back in cold, small Launceston, trying my best not to get too stressed out about, well, everything. I need to constantly remind myself that I'm lucky to be there, that I'm lucky to have the opportunities I do. Deep down, I know that and I am thankful. I really am.

Unfortunately, it doesn't really make the homesickness any better.

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