Fridays are 'good days'. Whoever came up with the whole 'TGIF' thing wasn't lying. I sail into school at nine or ten, because that's when my case-based learning (CBL) group has its session. We discuss a clinical case, and the four students whose turns it is do presentations do their thing. After CBL is usually a tute which I should have prepared for but never do; I struggle to remember things from lectures then give up and check the slides, and I manage to scrape by. Then it's lectures till 3 with an hour break for lunch somewhere in between. From 3-5 is PASS (peer-assisted study sessions), which I have been religiously going for because I find it super helpful.
Any other weekday (except maybe Monday, since I start late on that day too) is a 'bad day'. These are the 8-5, please-be-over-quickly days. I sit there, lecture after lecture after lecture, and by the time 5pm rolls around, my brain has been inactive for a good few hours. On the way back to Jane, it kind of wakes up a little and bemoans the amount of stuff in lectures that I did not -- could not -- absorb; then, having set off this pressing urge to study, the little bugger shuts off again till bedtime. Ugh.
Sorry. Things have been rather hectic as of late, what with the midsems, an essay due, and realising how far behind (and woefully inadequate) I am. Everyone here is just so smart, even if they say/think they're not, and I feel like an illiterate hobo most of the time. We got the results of the MCQ section of the midsems back, and it turns out that I have gone from being on the Dean's List in college to midrange Average Jan. Also, our unit coordinator told us that only 40% of the class passed, and I am scared pantsless.
Not watermarks, but pimples due to stress. Also: not a smile, but a terrified grimace.
But, still, you know. Crushed self-esteem and stress levels notwithstanding, I am very happy to be here. There is literally nowhere else in the world I would rather be than right here, studying medicine at UTAS. I still remember wondering why I was even applying, thinking that I would never get in (there are only about twenty of us international students), and I still remember getting the call from my agent telling me that I did (does that make me sound like a movie star?). Happy times, happy times.
Studying medicine is something I'd been looking forward to for many, many years, and now that I'm doing just that, I am so, so, so thankful. I know now that I am meant to be here, and I am blessed beyond measure. And this is what keeps me going even on the worst of 'bad days'.
On that optimistic note, I am going to go slog through Microbiology.
P.S. My apologies for the excessive use of parentheses in this post.