I can't wait to get out of school, go to college, and hopefully have coursemates on the same wavelength. Sigh. It's such a teenage thing, isn't it, wanting to fit in somewhere? Funny how herd mentality still exists in our era of individualism. Maybe nobody really knows who they are or what they want.
Succumbed to my rising panic during the second week of school holidays and started hardcore studying. This is going to sound super-nerdy, but I find there's a certain comfort in studying. Things in books are constant, you know? Meiosis will always produce four haploid cells. The latent heat of fusion for water will always be 334 kJ. Prophet Muhammad's first wahyu will always be surah al-Alaq. And the pretty purple colour of potassium manganate (VII) will always be decolorised by alkenes.
When you find a constant in the hurricane that is life, you hold on to it, because you're sick of things changing every time you turn around.
I wish my faith were stronger. I really do.
For now, music and writing make me feel like I have a soul again. These are two things I'm never letting go of.